One Huge Lesson in Humility.

Feta, Bulgarian sheep's-milk, 1 oz.—75 kcal.

Kilocal. Quant.
Lunch
Jul 21 '14 @ 12:52 PM
'' 75
3/2
'' 160 1
'' 160 2
'' 30 2
Dinner
Jun 02 '14 @ 8:57 PM

Had a couple of slices of bread but oth­er­wise just ate peas for dinner.

'' 90 2
'' 75 2
'' 12 8
'' 5 4
Dinner
Mar 07 '14 @ 8:35 PM

Had a big salad for dinner.

'' 110
2/3
'' 75 2
'' 54 1
'' 8 2
'' 100 1
'' 12 8
'' 160 1
'' 149 1
Lunch
Mar 04 '14 @ 12:29 PM
'' 90 2
'' 75 2
'' 50 4
'' 160 2
'' 149 1
Dinner
Feb 26 '14 @ 8:00 PM

Salad for dinner.

'' 59 4
'' 75 2
'' 50 2
Dinner
Dec 03 '13 @ 9:14 PM

Tired. Had cer­eal and figured that was din­ner and then had a couple eggs to get some protein. Anyway, poor per­form­ance from Ford. My cog­nit­ive self is NOT ENGAGED. But tracking.

'' 64 2
'' 90 2
'' 320 1
'' 90 2
'' 75 3
'' 98 1
Lunch
Nov 23 '13 @ 12:41 PM
'' 100
13/5
'' 75 2
'' 110 2
'' 50 3
'' 29 4
Breakfast
Nov 10 '13 @ 9:33 AM
'' 59 2
'' 90 2
'' 75
3/2
Lunch
Nov 03 '13 @ 12:48 PM

Made a big salad for lunch. Put some grilled tur­key on it. Very filling.

'' 75 1
'' 50 4
'' 29 6
'' 110
3/2
Dinner
Oct 15 '13 @ 8:08 PM

Made a tur­key salad

'' 64 3
'' 75 3
'' 110 2
'' 30 5
'' 29 5
Lunch
Oct 14 '13 @ 6:14 PM
'' 20 1
'' 75 1
'' 29 3
Lunch
Oct 05 '13 @ 1:33 PM
'' 90 2
'' 75
3/2
'' 50 2
'' 210
7/4
Dinner
Aug 29 '13 @ 8:00 PM

Ended up hav­ing a cer­eal snack be­fore dinner. I’m hungry a lot—when I get up and when I go to bed. It’s tricky.

'' 90
5/3
'' 320 1
'' 110
1/5
'' 59 6
'' 75 1
'' 12 6
'' 434
1/10
'' 50 1
'' 24 2
'' 149
2/3
Lunch
Aug 21 '13 @ 12:23 PM

Salad on the plane. Good choice. Bought it beforehand.

'' 75
3/2
'' 50 4
Dinner
Aug 17 '13 @ 6:00 PM
'' 59 6
'' 220 1
'' 20 2
'' 75 2
'' 62 1
'' 94 1
'' 50 1
'' 426 1
Lunch
Aug 05 '13 @ 12:30 PM

Had some bread in the bread bas­ket at a diner called Kappy’s in Niles, Chicago.

'' 90 3
'' 102 1
'' 75
2/3
'' 228 1
'' 5 3
Lunch
Jul 02 '13 @ 11:21 AM

Had sugar at lunch.

'' 59 4
'' 75 2
'' 90 4
'' 160 1
'' 167
3/2
Lunch
Jun 18 '13 @ 12:09 PM

Leftovers. Which made me hungry so I went out and got a bunch of pret­zels and shit. And sugary.

'' 100 2
'' 250 1
'' 75 1
'' 230 1
'' 105 2
'' 108 5
Dinner
Jun 16 '13 @ 8:13 PM
'' 10 4
'' 75 3
'' 0 3
'' 105 3
Dinner
Jul 10 '11 @ 8:19 PM
'' 100
7/2
'' 75 2
'' 41 3
'' 160 2
'' 130 2
Lunch
May 30 '11 @ 1:38 PM
'' 59 6
'' 75 1
'' 100
2/3
Dinner
Apr 20 '11 @ 8:35 PM
'' 4
1/4
'' 90 2
'' 75 2
'' 46
1/2
'' 160 1
'' 32 4
Dinner
Oct 05 '09 @ 8:26 PM
'' 110 2
'' 75 1
'' 90
1/2
'' 6 6
'' 39 1
'' 20 10
'' 13 1
'' 30
5/2
Lunch
Oct 05 '09 @ 2:02 PM

Went to the East Vil­lage Cheese Shop and pur­chased too much food. Court­ing disaster. Five pounds of gouda for six dollars? A Bul­gari­an feta backpack? How about hal­vah smeared on a baguette with a hogshead of pot cheese? $10, and they prin­ted the re­ceipt on a slice of cheddar.

Back at the desk I faced a problem. Two pounds of food. But then realized: I need not eat all of this, or even much of it. I cer­tainly don’t need to eat a 1/2 lb. of feta. (There is only an hour left be­fore this overnight flight lands. Crammed against the window, a panda in a cage, I watched the sun rise over the At­lantic and thought about all the linked de­sire and cunning, the apery that put me in this moment, wid­ders and slends. What will life be like when we land? No one will meet me at the gate.) Yes, I knew that I didn’t need to eat all of it; and yes it felt good not to want to eat all of it, but what felt bet­ter was the indifference. Know­ing that I need not fear my­self quite so much. So that is an insight: I am not as bes­ti­al as I thought; de­struc­tion and self-damage are not my prerogatives. I was, and am, not evil, merely ignorant. I can throw away the grape leaves, or re­fri­ger­ate them or toss them at the lit­er­ary editor. I AM A NOR­MAL BOY MIS­TER GEP­PET­TO A REG­U­LAR BOY! Ex­cept for the hick­ory tuna salad. I had to eat a half-pound of that.

'' 115
7/5
'' 35 5
'' 75
1/2
'' 6 2
'' 53 8
Lunch
Jul 10 '09 @ 3:45 PM

After yesterday’s salad, R–- offered me a salad made fresh from the Union Sq. farmer’s market. He brought it to me in massive tup­per­ware trough. The salad is more alive than I am. He also in­vent­or­ied the in­gredi­ents so that I might log them here, thus proof that hu­man­ity is gen­er­ous and can be redeemed.

'' 5 1
'' 353 1
'' 75 8
'' 5 4
'' 5
3/2
'' 12 6
'' 5 12
'' 50
1/8
'' 238
3/10