One Huge Lesson in Humility.

Bread, White, 1 slice—90 kcal.

Kilocal. Quant.
Breakfast
Sep 17 '16 @ 9:42 AM

I keep get­ting through break­fast and start­ing to track and then trail­ing off.

The doc­tor says: Your cho­les­ter­ol is el­ev­ated and you are pre-diabetic. This is not a surprise. I am okay with being pre-diabetic. I don’t want to be but it seems to be a nat­ur­al con­sequence of my action. “Seems to be.” Rather, is.

I am genu­inely that if I let my stress shoot out of me by not eat­ing that I’ll start telling all kinds of truth about my­self and others. That un­muted I will go on some kind of rampage.

'' 90 2
'' 102 1
'' 320 1
'' 0 12
'' 120 1
Lunch
Oct 21 '14 @ 12:50 PM

Reg­u­lar lunch.

'' 90 2
'' 12 8
'' 160 2
Breakfast
Oct 21 '14 @ 9:38 AM

Yes­ter­day a good day. Had huge fancy lunch and wasn’t hungry at night so skipped dinner. Have a cer­tain ur­gency from bike rides. Going to try to keep that ur­gency moving. The gen­er­al mal­aise I’m feel­ing after Tom’s death is how I grieve, I’m realizing: Noth­ing con­crete as much as the basic found­a­tion of my life gets shaken out from under me and I find my­self dip­ping very low, with a sense of un­cer­tainty and instability—looking at the kids and going, how will we sur­vive in this fra­gile world, things like that. I envy the re­li­gious some­times quite a bit. It ab­so­lutely makes sense to me that human con­scious­ness would come up with re­li­gious faith as a means of or­gan­iz­ing that sense of spiral­ing chaos. Mo made me an egg sand­wich for break­fast since I didn’t have dinner. Both chil­dren woke up in bad moods and whined and cried for twenty straight minutes as we got them dressed.

'' 100 1
'' 90 2
'' 90 2
Breakfast
Sep 13 '14 @ 7:15 AM

Well if I’m going to dis­cuss this thing I should prob­ably use it.

I went to a diner called the Roxy; it was the only thing open at this time in Port­land and I’m still on EST. Burned through half my cal­or­ies in a meal.

Fatherhood-hardcoding makes it im­possible for me to wake up much later than 6AM EST no mat­ter how I try. The Roxy was sort of edgy-ish and had enorm­ous portions. I ordered a spin­ach omelet. It was heavy on the butter. I didn’t fin­ish it. I’d gone out look­ing for fruit and granola—good west-coast fare. There’s a break­fast in the hotel but it’s or­gan­ized around these damn croissants. I had them yesterday. I’m sure a per­son of less chaos could handle those croissants. But that’s not me right now.

I’m work­ing on my talk for tomorrow. I found the core of the talk, the emo­tion­al center. Finally. It al­ways takes so damn long. I guess the them is that liv­ing with your­self in the world is hard. The de­mands of the world are ba­sic­ally impossible. They don’t scale.

I’m miss­ing the con­fer­ence proper, which is too bad. But I want to see how far I can get here in this hotel room.

I went to a gro­cery store and bought a couple en­ergy bars and some fruit for lunch. Let’s see how far that gets me.

Going to do a bunch of situps too.

Going to calm down.

'' 90 2
'' 297 1
'' 171 3
'' 98 2
Lunch
Aug 18 '14 @ 12:25 PM
'' 90 2
'' 12 12
'' 110 2
Lunch
Aug 05 '14 @ 1:02 PM

I know I grabbed a hand­ful of cer­eal in here.

'' 100 1
'' 90 2
'' 102 1
'' 130 1
'' 5 2
'' 94 1
'' 110 2
'' 32 1
Lunch
Mar 31 '14 @ 12:05 PM
'' 90 1
'' 90 4
'' 279 1
'' 228
1/2
Dinner
Mar 27 '14 @ 8:37 PM
'' 64 4
'' 90 1
'' 110
1/2
'' 50 4
'' 29 7
'' 149
1/3
Breakfast
Mar 27 '14 @ 2:01 PM
'' 90 2
'' 297
1/2
'' 171 2
Lunch
Jan 30 '14 @ 12:56 PM

Spare sand­wiches from Carne­gie Deli; I had half of one. Still plenty.

'' 90 1
'' 250 1
'' 110
3/4
'' 120 2
'' 29 4
Lunch
Jan 22 '14 @ 9:17 PM
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/5
'' 160 2
'' 24 4
Lunch
Jan 12 '14 @ 12:55 PM
'' 100 3
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/5
'' 45 1
'' 160 2
Dinner
Jan 01 '14 @ 8:54 PM

We took the kids out for pizza and then mis­ordered and then we just ate the pizza. Now I’m going to the gym. The hol­i­days are over, finally.

'' 90 2
'' 120 2
'' 350 2
'' 233 1
Breakfast
Dec 10 '13 @ 9:23 AM
'' 90 1
'' 113 1
'' 90 2
Dinner
Dec 04 '13 @ 9:00 PM
'' 100 1
'' 100 1
'' 31 6
'' 90 2
'' 110
1/5
'' 110
1/5
'' 50 2
'' 50 1
'' 149
1/2
Lunch
Nov 24 '13 @ 12:29 PM

Got the kid some fish and chips. Mo and I ended up nib­bling at it.

'' 90 1
'' 102 1
'' 532
1/4
'' 300
1/2
'' 90 2
'' 100 1
Breakfast
Oct 24 '13 @ 11:15 AM
'' 90 2
'' 54 2
'' 297
1/2
'' 105 3
Lunch
Oct 12 '13 @ 12:45 PM

Lots of salad

'' 90
3/2
'' 106 2
'' 160 2
Lunch
Sep 16 '13 @ 4:28 PM
'' 90 1
'' 180 3
'' 158 1
Lunch
Sep 12 '13 @ 12:52 PM
'' 96
3/2
'' 90 2
'' 338 1
Lunch
Aug 23 '13 @ 12:17 PM

Made okay choices. Barely had any fries.

'' 90
3/2
'' 90 3
'' 216
1/2
Lunch
Aug 05 '13 @ 12:30 PM

Had some bread in the bread bas­ket at a diner called Kappy’s in Niles, Chicago.

'' 90 3
'' 102 1
'' 75
2/3
'' 228 1
'' 5 3
Lunch
Aug 01 '13 @ 1:00 PM

Split a char­cu­ter­ie plate, which was not an in­sane thing to do, with a friend. Let­ting Gouda stand in for a Reggiano.

'' 90 2
'' 101 2
'' 100 1
'' 57 3
Lunch
Jul 29 '13 @ 12:15 PM
'' 90 1
'' 59 2
'' 216
1/3
'' 167 4
'' 205
1/2
Lunch
Jul 26 '13 @ 12:22 PM

AND I went and had a piece of cake with lunch. Waited too long, basically. No reason; didn’t need it.

'' 90 2
'' 235 1
'' 80 7
Lunch
Jul 14 '13 @ 1:29 PM
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/10
'' 29 6
Dinner
Jul 13 '13 @ 7:55 PM

Just adding some ran­dom cal­or­ies be­cause I know I went over, not totally sure how.

'' 100 3
'' 96 4
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/10
'' 113 2
'' 29 2
'' 149 1
Dinner
Jul 07 '13 @ 6:17 PM
'' 96 2
'' 64 2
'' 90 1
'' 102 2
'' 59 5
'' 64 2
'' 145 1
'' 50 2
Lunch
Jul 06 '13 @ 2:51 PM
'' 90
3/2
'' 60 1
'' 110 2
'' 210 2
Lunch
Jun 30 '13 @ 12:00 PM

Pain­ful pain­ful bike ride.

'' 500
1/2
'' 90 2
'' 210 2
Breakfast
Jun 17 '13 @ 8:30 AM

Break­fast with my editor.

'' 90 2
'' 90 2
'' 300 1
Breakfast
Jun 09 '13 @ 11:19 AM
'' 90 2
'' 320 1
'' 54 1
'' 94
3/2
Lunch
Jun 07 '13 @ 1:16 PM
'' 90 2
'' 320
2/3
'' 59 5
'' 35 3
'' 54 1
'' 94 2
Dinner
Apr 30 '13 @ 9:12 PM

Fin­ish­ing up; not a dis­aster today, actually, even with bad lunch.

'' 9 5
'' 96
3/2
'' 90
3/2
'' 110
1/5
'' 113 1
'' 90 2
'' 50 1
'' 149
1/2
Dinner
Apr 23 '13 @ 9:35 PM
'' 102
3/2
'' 90 2
'' 120
1/4
'' 101 1
'' 400
1/4
'' 50 1
'' 29 8
'' 149 1
Dinner
Apr 21 '13 @ 8:32 PM
'' 90 2
'' 160
4/3
Lunch
Apr 20 '13 @ 12:33 PM
'' 90 2
'' 60 2
'' 130 2
'' 50 1
'' 33 3
Breakfast
Apr 03 '13 @ 9:34 AM
'' 90 1
'' 220 1
'' 370
4/7
Breakfast
Apr 02 '13 @ 8:55 AM
'' 110
1/2
'' 90
3/2
'' 94 1
Breakfast
Mar 28 '13 @ 4:18 PM
'' 90 2
'' 54 2
'' 297
2/3
'' 98 1
Dinner
Feb 19 '13 @ 8:10 PM
'' 96 6
'' 90 2
'' 110 1
'' 90
1/2
'' 108
5/2
'' 130 2
Dinner
Feb 18 '13 @ 8:44 PM
'' 96 2
'' 90 2
'' 152 1
'' 59 4
'' 34 1
Dinner
Feb 12 '13 @ 11:39 AM
'' 100 3
'' 90 3
'' 79 2
'' 120 2
'' 350
2/3
'' 160 3
Lunch
Feb 09 '13 @ 12:00 PM
'' 90 2
'' 100
7/5
'' 12 1
'' 160 2
Dinner
Feb 08 '13 @ 8:32 PM
'' 90 2
'' 102 1
'' 90 2
'' 120 1
'' 30 1
Breakfast
Jan 25 '13 @ 8:48 AM
'' 90 2
'' 54 2
'' 98 2
Lunch
Jan 20 '13 @ 12:54 PM
'' 90 2
'' 160 2
'' 30
4/3
Lunch
Jan 14 '13 @ 2:29 PM
'' 90 1
'' 235 1
'' 180
7/2
Lunch
Jan 13 '13 @ 1:28 PM
'' 90 2
'' 60 1
'' 56 1
'' 34 1
'' 94
3/2
'' 33 2
Dinner
Jan 03 '13 @ 8:51 PM
'' 90 2
'' 110 2
'' 59 6
'' 90 1
'' 30
4/3
Lunch
Dec 28 '12 @ 12:42 PM
'' 90 1
'' 90 2
'' 94 2
Lunch
Dec 18 '12 @ 3:02 PM
'' 90 1
'' 292
1/2
'' 130 1
'' 50 1
'' 16 3
Lunch
Dec 14 '12 @ 12:33 PM
'' 90 2
'' 60 2
'' 10 2
'' 12 3
'' 160 2
Breakfast
Nov 10 '12 @ 8:17 AM
'' 90 1
'' 110
8/3
'' 45 1
'' 54 2
'' 90 1
Dinner
Sep 30 '12 @ 6:49 PM
'' 90 2
'' 9 1
'' 300 1
Dinner
Sep 30 '12 @ 6:49 PM
'' 90 2
'' 9 1
'' 300 1