One Huge Lesson in Humility.

100-calorie unit of flavor—100 kcal.

Kilocal. Quant.
Lunch
May 01 '17 @ 12:00 PM
'' 100 2
'' 90 2
'' 74 1
'' 550 1
Breakfast
Aug 03 '16 @ 11:34 AM

HOLY SHIT I GOTTA GET THIS TOGETHER. Apple turnover.

'' 100
5/2
'' 0 12
'' 9 12
Breakfast
Apr 21 '16 @ 11:04 AM

DIDN’T FIT IN TABLE so that’s al­ways good.

'' 100 2
'' 597
1/3
'' 149 1
Lunch
Nov 10 '14 @ 12:00 PM
'' 100 4
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/6
'' 12 8
'' 110 2
Dinner
Oct 22 '14 @ 8:56 PM

Went to a diner. Mistake.

'' 100 1
'' 96 1
'' 353
2/3
'' 350 1
'' 314
3/2
'' 233 1
Lunch
Oct 22 '14 @ 1:55 PM

I AL­MOST FORGOT. I went out for lunch and then stopped by the gro­cery store and got some carob raisins. So there’s 700 cal­or­ies right there. If you’d asked me I would have said I hadn’t eaten them at all. HMMMMM. This is what I’m doing to myself.

'' 100 7
'' 700 1
Dinner
Oct 21 '14 @ 6:24 PM

Friends wanted to meet for dinner. In from Ber­lin and miss spicy In­di­an food. So we chose Jack­son Heights. I de­cided to ride bike. Haven’t been rid­ing much at night. 13 miles much of it in the dark (sun went down as I was riding, right as I entered Queens). Queens Boulevard to 48th St. left to 37th Ave to 74th St. Madness. But made it. En­joyed the ride; got into the rhythm of it, but didn’t like the traffic and the fact that I wasn’t brightly lit and was in fact pretty invisible. Got there safe, though. Mo had driv­en so we put the bike in the car and went home. Ate a lot but noth­ing ex­cess­ive and avoided sugar. Saw friends. Pos­it­ive out­ing ultimately. Ended over but with bike ride, under.

'' 100 3
'' 96 2
'' 500
3/2
'' 292 1
'' 387 1
'' 525
1/2
Breakfast
Oct 21 '14 @ 9:38 AM

Yes­ter­day a good day. Had huge fancy lunch and wasn’t hungry at night so skipped dinner. Have a cer­tain ur­gency from bike rides. Going to try to keep that ur­gency moving. The gen­er­al mal­aise I’m feel­ing after Tom’s death is how I grieve, I’m realizing: Noth­ing con­crete as much as the basic found­a­tion of my life gets shaken out from under me and I find my­self dip­ping very low, with a sense of un­cer­tainty and instability—looking at the kids and going, how will we sur­vive in this fra­gile world, things like that. I envy the re­li­gious some­times quite a bit. It ab­so­lutely makes sense to me that human con­scious­ness would come up with re­li­gious faith as a means of or­gan­iz­ing that sense of spiral­ing chaos. Mo made me an egg sand­wich for break­fast since I didn’t have dinner. Both chil­dren woke up in bad moods and whined and cried for twenty straight minutes as we got them dressed.

'' 100 1
'' 90 2
'' 90 2
Breakfast
Aug 28 '14 @ 11:15 AM

I’m going to track everything as one big meal.

Okay, so yes­ter­day was a day. I got a bunch of mis­cel­lany and email an­swer­ing done. And the kids were pure sweetness. They are just great kids, a lot of tem­per tan­trums but also work­ing so hard to com­mu­nic­ate and find their place in the family. Hav­ing twins means that they are good sharers, and kind to each other (for the most part).

I thought a lot about my com­pul­sion with food and what drives it, the anxi­ety and also the sense of comfort. But if I am hon­est it’s a sort of auto­mat­ic sys­tem at this point. It’s like a tank driv­ing across the plains. And I need to stop the tank. The tank wants to keep going and going. I don’t know how you stop a tank. It won’t run out of gas be­cause there are al­ways more pretzels.

Working from memory: I messed up and didn’t have break­fast and so I had these break­fast bars instead.

Then I had lunch which was fancy pizza with lots of salad.

Ah and THEN THE TANK—I got off the bus and jumped into the bo­dega and got some crack­ers and cookies. That was the extra 600 cal­or­ies that kills. Then I came home and was foggy and eat the crack­ers and cookies. I’m ashamed to write it down. I didn’t even re­mem­ber I had eaten it until I sat down and made my­self write.

That was pure com­pul­sion right there. There was no nu­trit­ive value and I prob­ably wouldn’t have bought them if I knew Mo was home and would have no­ticed me eat­ing them. Just more shitty tank fuel.

Then din­ner was settled, a reg­u­lar meal, sal­mon bur­gers and bread and lots and lots of peas. And I had a little yogurt as a desert.

Ulgh. Look­ing at it there is a sort of nar­rat­ive of self-care going on, I’m watch­ing myself, and then there are these gaps—almost like blackouts—where I kind of let my­self have all the treats I want—and then I’m back to nor­mal as if noth­ing had happened. Like when I worked with al­co­hol­ics and they’d open their desks and li­quor bottles fell out.

There is no more bour­bon in the house or beer and Mo and I agreed to leave it that way. I was temp­ted to leave the house but I didn’t.

'' 100 3
'' 240 1
'' 180 1
'' 90 2
'' 220 3
'' 12 8
'' 350 3
'' 108 2
'' 110 2
Dinner
Aug 18 '14 @ 7:34 PM

Huh. What a day. I didn’t exercise, was tired all day, Mo is sick again, kids are out of their minds and not sleeping, I’m be­hind one verything. I did track I guess, so that’s something. I find my­self kind of ran­domly grabbing carbs throughout the day though. Just adding and lay­er­ing cal­or­ies in there in little ways that are hard to track. I think I’m fight­ing wiht my own software.

'' 100 1
'' 96 2
'' 431
1/5
'' 205
3/2
'' 160 2
Snack
Aug 18 '14 @ 10:29 AM
'' 100 3
'' 100 1
Dinner
Aug 14 '14 @ 8:34 PM
'' 100 2
'' 64 2
'' 90 2
'' 431
1/15
'' 29 5
'' 2 20
Lunch
Aug 05 '14 @ 1:02 PM

I know I grabbed a hand­ful of cer­eal in here.

'' 100 1
'' 90 2
'' 102 1
'' 130 1
'' 5 2
'' 94 1
'' 110 2
'' 32 1
Dinner
Jun 23 '14 @ 8:04 PM

Had a 1/2 cup cer­eal with a ba­nana be­fore dinner. Had a beer with dinner. Had some cole slaw and to­ma­toes too.

'' 100 1
'' 110 1
'' 13 12
'' 102 1
'' 320
1/2
'' 579
1/2
'' 28 6
Dinner
Jun 16 '14 @ 9:03 PM

Tied one on.

'' 100 4
'' 96 6
'' 235 1
'' 29 8
Lunch
Jun 04 '14 @ 2:20 PM
'' 100 2
'' 500
1/2
'' 250 1
'' 557 1
'' 64 3
Dinner
May 27 '14 @ 9:00 PM

Some potato chips when home.

'' 100 1
'' 13 6
'' 500
1/3
'' 311 1
'' 160
3/2
'' 180 1
'' 230 1
Lunch
May 06 '14 @ 4:54 PM
'' 100 2
'' 110 1
'' 160 1
'' 550 1
Dinner
Apr 16 '14 @ 8:33 PM
'' 100 5
'' 64 6
'' 33 12
Dinner
Mar 23 '14 @ 8:53 PM
'' 100 1
'' 96 3
'' 320 1
'' 105 3
'' 30 1
Lunch
Mar 23 '14 @ 12:53 PM
'' 100 2
'' 90 2
'' 10 8
'' 150 1
Dinner
Mar 08 '14 @ 8:00 PM

Chick­en and rice from the Carib­bean place.

'' 100 2
'' 80 1
'' 59 4
'' 54 1
'' 205 2
'' 149 1
Lunch
Mar 08 '14 @ 12:41 PM

Had a salad after going out. I com­puls­ively bought some pret­zels so I put them in the salad. It was a pretty good solution.

'' 100 2
'' 279 1
'' 220 1
'' 30 4
Lunch
Mar 07 '14 @ 1:39 PM

I ordered a $5 Mex­ic­an meal and then ne­go­ti­ated with my­self over a slice of cake and then ac­tu­ally watched my­self lose the negotiations. There’s a part of me that is so ab­so­lutely ded­ic­ated to failing, basically. I just kind of de­cide to jump off the cliff. I can see my­self doing this, act­ing out the compulsion, and I can’t stop it be­cause I do not want to stop it.

It re­minds me a lot of quit­ting smoking where some­times the part of the brain that makes any kind of de­cision at all just falls away and you’re left automated, buy­ing a pack while a big part of your­self says “don’t do that.”

Negotiations fail all the time, every­where in the world. That’s why we have wars and divorces. It’s no sur­prise that in­tern­al ne­go­ti­ations fail too.

I don’t know. I’ve named this be­ha­vi­or many times. It comes and goes. The thing I keep doing is saying: I will name this be­ha­vi­or and then con­trol it. I won’t do that. I can only name it and let it come and go and fig­ure it out.

I’ll paste in a Rumi poem here be­cause I come back to it a lot.

The Guesthouse

This being human is a guesthouse.
Every morn­ing a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some mo­ment­ary aware­ness comes
as an un­ex­pec­ted visitor.

Welcome and en­ter­tain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who vi­ol­ently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clear­ing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and in­vite them in.

Be grate­ful for who­ever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-Rumi

'' 100 3
'' 295
3/2
'' 59 4
'' 138 3
'' 205
1/2
Dinner
Mar 06 '14 @ 8:20 PM
'' 100 2
'' 110 1
'' 120
1/2
'' 80 2
'' 110 2
'' 149 1
Snack
Mar 06 '14 @ 8:19 PM

I went to Bloomberg where they just dump snacks. Then for din­ner I kind of said screw it, had popcorn, avoided booze, and went to bed.

'' 100 5
Dinner
Mar 03 '14 @ 8:03 PM
'' 100 2
'' 96 2
'' 110 1
'' 59 5
'' 50 1
'' 149 1
Dinner
Feb 12 '14 @ 10:20 PM

Pretty sick all day. Yes­ter­day was a blur and I just kept eat­ing from stress. Made my­self calm down today. Going to sleep now and to settle.

'' 100 2
'' 64 2
'' 1,159
1/3
'' 300
1/2
'' 88 1
Dinner
Feb 08 '14 @ 9:48 PM

Pasta with pump­kin sauce.

'' 100 2
'' 64 2
'' 110
1/2
'' 54 1
'' 105 3
'' 98 1
'' 149
1/2
Dinner
Feb 04 '14 @ 8:28 PM
'' 100 1
'' 300 1
'' 470 2
'' 88 2
Dinner
Feb 03 '14 @ 8:30 PM

Wanted to order, had tuna fish sand­wiches instead. No vegetables. Rough couple of days.

'' 100 1
'' 90 2
'' 70 2
'' 138 2
'' 53 2
Dinner
Jan 27 '14 @ 7:45 PM
'' 100 3
'' 59 4
'' 33 12
'' 24 8
Dinner
Jan 23 '14 @ 6:00 AM
'' 100 3
'' 200 2
'' 300 1
Lunch
Jan 12 '14 @ 12:55 PM
'' 100 3
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/5
'' 45 1
'' 160 2
Dinner
Jan 08 '14 @ 8:58 PM
'' 100 2
'' 96 5
'' 600 1
'' 138 3
Dinner
Dec 31 '13 @ 8:26 PM

We ate a bunch of cheese and crack­ers and I had three pints of beer. It was okay, as New Years go.

'' 100 8
'' 96 8
'' 115 4
Dinner
Dec 30 '13 @ 8:35 PM
'' 100 1
'' 28 3
'' 184 3
Dinner
Dec 26 '13 @ 9:03 PM

Neigh­bors in­vited us over for tiramisu.

'' 100 4
'' 500
1/2
'' 350 1
'' 29 6
'' 24 6
Lunch
Dec 25 '13 @ 12:44 PM

Mo made us nice omelets.

'' 100 2
'' 9 4
'' 171 1
Dinner
Dec 24 '13 @ 8:31 PM

Took the kids out for xmas eve

'' 100 5
'' 64 2
'' 23 2
'' 28 4
Dinner
Dec 18 '13 @ 8:00 PM
'' 100 1
'' 64 2
'' 33 14
'' 88 1
Dinner
Dec 04 '13 @ 9:00 PM
'' 100 1
'' 100 1
'' 31 6
'' 90 2
'' 110
1/5
'' 110
1/5
'' 50 2
'' 50 1
'' 149
1/2
Dinner
Dec 04 '13 @ 9:00 PM
'' 100 1
'' 100 1
'' 31 6
'' 90 2
'' 110
1/5
'' 110
1/5
'' 50 2
'' 50 1
'' 149
1/2
Dinner
Dec 02 '13 @ 8:32 PM

Ordered sushi. They sent an extra appetizer. I ate the hell out of that appetizer. Adding 500 cal­or­ies for that reason.

'' 100 5
'' 64 2
'' 70 8
Dinner
Nov 24 '13 @ 8:31 PM

More vegetables—a big plate of peas and salad, with chick­en and rice.

'' 100 20/10
'' 96 2
'' 64 1
'' 59 5
'' 12 8
'' 205 1
'' 50 4
Lunch
Nov 23 '13 @ 12:41 PM
'' 100
13/5
'' 75 2
'' 110 2
'' 50 3
'' 29 4
Dinner
Nov 22 '13 @ 8:40 PM

Drank four beers. Not great.

'' 100 4
'' 96 6
'' 500 1
Dinner
Nov 19 '13 @ 8:05 PM
'' 100 2
'' 96 3
'' 90 2
'' 50 8
Dinner
Nov 15 '13 @ 8:21 PM
'' 100 3
'' 110
3/2
'' 90 1
'' 91 2
'' 59 4
'' 216
1/4
'' 28 1
Lunch
Nov 11 '13 @ 1:03 PM
'' 100 2
'' 180 3
'' 280
1/2
Dinner
Nov 08 '13 @ 7:36 PM
'' 100 3
'' 59 6
'' 269 1
Lunch
Nov 08 '13 @ 12:35 PM

It was a sort of big salad buf­fet thing. Chick­en salad and tofu and a sort of miscellany.

'' 100 9
Breakfast
Nov 08 '13 @ 8:34 AM

Friend of mine is get­ting fired so we went to breakfast.

'' 100 2
'' 74 2
'' 98 2
Breakfast
Nov 07 '13 @ 10:27 AM
'' 100
3/2
'' 90 2
'' 297
1/2
'' 171
3/2
Snack
Nov 05 '13 @ 8:44 PM

A bunch of garbagey candy and so forth. Just kept snacking. Ridiculous.

'' 100 4
Dinner
Nov 03 '13 @ 7:43 AM

Was doing really well by din­ner then was stay­ing up to work and star­ted nib­bling at things around the house. Prob­ably had an extra 500/600 cal­or­ies when you factor in one drink, a couple tiny bags of pret­zels (came into the house at Halloween), &c. So the cor­tic­al self ba­sic­ally won until about 8PM.

'' 100 4
'' 64 2
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/5
'' 34 1
'' 110 3
'' 33 4
'' 29 2
'' 149
2/3
Dinner
Nov 02 '13 @ 6:59 PM
'' 100 2
'' 54 2
'' 33 8
'' 95 4
'' 149 1
Lunch
Oct 26 '13 @ 12:48 PM

I keep hav­ing bread with meals and carby snacks. Need to fig­ure that out. (Per Michael’s suggestion, it’s grapes, grapes, grapes. I’m log­ging this on Sunday, so I’ll try to up grapes on Sunday.)

'' 100 3
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/5
'' 160 2
Lunch
Oct 24 '13 @ 12:59 PM
'' 100 1
'' 59 4
'' 100 2
'' 145 1
Dinner
Oct 23 '13 @ 8:39 PM
'' 100 3
'' 64 2
'' 113 3
'' 110 1
'' 29 6
Dinner
Oct 21 '13 @ 7:52 PM
'' 100 2
'' 90 2
'' 59 5
'' 30 3
Snack
Oct 21 '13 @ 12:00 PM
'' 100 3
Dinner
Oct 20 '13 @ 7:50 PM

Mo put a bunch of but­ter into dinner.

'' 100 2
'' 59 5
'' 105 2
'' 108 2
'' 30 3
'' 24 6
Dinner
Oct 19 '13 @ 7:50 PM

Nachos, burrito. My mother, brother, and niece were up. They wanted Mexican. I went with it.

'' 100 5
'' 96 4
'' 600 1
Lunch
Oct 17 '13 @ 12:57 PM
'' 100
14/5
'' 160 1
'' 840
3/4
Lunch
Oct 14 '13 @ 12:00 PM

At Bloomberg which is all snacks.

'' 100 2
'' 110 1
'' 350 2
Dinner
Oct 13 '13 @ 8:39 PM

Over at a friends, they had ve­get­ari­an rice dish, very light (probably a nor­mal amount).

'' 100 1
'' 96 2
'' 200 1
'' 138 2
'' 205 1
'' 30
4/3
Lunch
Oct 08 '13 @ 12:27 PM
'' 100 3
'' 108 1
'' 450 1
Dinner
Sep 25 '13 @ 8:18 PM
'' 100 1
'' 9 16
'' 96 1
'' 90
3/2
'' 300 1
'' 205 1
Dinner
Sep 24 '13 @ 8:38 PM

Big plate of hum­mus and suchlike. Not enough vegetables.

'' 100 3
'' 360 1
'' 96 1
'' 300 1
Breakfast
Sep 21 '13 @ 8:10 AM

Quick break­fast out of a health food store on the way to a christening.

'' 100 1
'' 180 1
Lunch
Sep 20 '13 @ 12:19 PM
'' 100 1
'' 35 6
'' 470 1
Dinner
Sep 14 '13 @ 8:39 PM

Just get­ting this done quickly as I have chil­dren scream­ing in the other room. Just a bunch of mis­cel­lany from the fridge. Lots of vegetables. Bike ride up and down to lunch, too.

'' 100 4
'' 500
4/5
'' 20 6
'' 50 4
'' 12 4
Dinner
Sep 13 '13 @ 8:25 PM

Is­raeli din­ner for Yom Kippur. The extra cal­or­ies are Baba Ghanoush, &c. A large amount of salad and cucumbers.

'' 100 3
'' 64 3
'' 14 2
'' 50 5
'' 169 3
'' 50 1
Dinner
Sep 04 '13 @ 8:00 PM
'' 100 2
'' 59 4
'' 300 1
'' 64 2
Dinner
Aug 31 '13 @ 6:20 PM

Mo made tur­key bur­ger with dressing.

'' 100 1
'' 100 1
'' 150 1
'' 50 2
Snack
Aug 30 '13 @ 9:15 PM

Bought, on impulse, some sort of semi-sweet pret­zel thing at the health-food store. Caught my eye. Was feel­ing really lousy, stom­ach sore, and very tired. Wanted to fill up.

'' 100
13/5
'' 120 2
Dinner
Aug 30 '13 @ 7:12 PM

Lots of naus­ea today.

'' 100 3
'' 350 2
Dinner
Aug 22 '13 @ 6:28 PM

Big Thai takeout din­ner with a lot of dif­fer­ent components. I kept it ba­sic­ally under control, actually. The only mis­take I made was in hav­ing cof­fee at 4PM which left me kind of panicked. Cali­for­nia cof­fee is a punch in the face com­pared to NYC. They just make it like rock­et fuel. Over­all I’m doing okay. After din­ner my friends and I went for pie and it wasn’t in­sane to have pie. We walked to get it. I don’t feel like I’m eat­ing compulsively. I need to wind down on salt and there’s a lot of sugar and carbs, but I’m not binging, just get­ting from meal to meal, keep­ing busy.

'' 100 8
'' 280
8/7
Lunch
Aug 22 '13 @ 12:00 PM

Shrimp sand­wich at a place in SF as part of a meeting. Heavy.

'' 100 2
'' 353 1
'' 50 2
'' 28 5
Dinner
Aug 21 '13 @ 7:00 PM

Jetlagged. There was a lot of bar food on the table. I had a couple ounces of it and went back to my hotel.

'' 100 4
'' 96 6
Lunch
Aug 20 '13 @ 1:06 PM

A sort of com­plex lunch: Light salad, small plate of fish, and a tiny dessert. It likely added up, however. I’d put it at 700 cals + a glass of wine—as much as a big sandwich.

'' 100 7
'' 24 6
Dinner
Aug 12 '13 @ 7:00 PM
'' 100 1
'' 96 2
'' 20 10
'' 350 3
'' 50 3
'' 24 4
Dinner
Aug 09 '13 @ 8:21 PM
'' 100 1
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/3
'' 12 1
'' 210 3
Dinner
Aug 08 '13 @ 7:49 PM
'' 100 2
'' 90 1
'' 152 1
'' 205
1/2
'' 64 1
Lunch
Aug 04 '13 @ 12:13 PM

An­oth­er day of stead­ily mount­ing fam­ily stress. Lots of extra snacks. A party.

'' 100 2
'' 100 4
'' 96 1
'' 235 1
'' 108 3
Lunch
Aug 04 '13 @ 12:13 PM

An­oth­er day of stead­ily mount­ing fam­ily stress. Lots of extra snacks. A party.

'' 100 2
'' 100 4
'' 96 1
'' 235 1
'' 108 3
Breakfast
Jul 31 '13 @ 3:40 PM

Diner

'' 100 2
'' 90 2
'' 171 1
Non-event
Jul 21 '13 @ 10:57 AM

Did pretty well today, actually.

'' 100 4
'' 320 1
'' 320
1/2
'' 350 3
'' 450 1
Non-event
Jul 19 '13 @ 11:01 AM

Best guess for today.

'' 100 26
Non-event
Jul 18 '13 @ 11:01 AM

Best guess for today. Amaz­ingly there is already a re­cord in my sys­tem for “Butterfinger bar” with the par­en­thet­ic­al state­ment “(I FUCK­ING KNOW)” from years ago. Mean­ing that I have been be­trayed be­fore by Butterfingers.

'' 100 23
'' 220 1
Lunch
Jul 15 '13 @ 12:00 PM

I blocked this lunch out be­cause it was a mess. But I also rode a Cit­ibike around the city and felt I was going to die. Which was good.

'' 100 4
'' 500 1
'' 185 1
'' 90 3
'' 145 2
'' 560 1
Dinner
Jul 13 '13 @ 7:55 PM

Just adding some ran­dom cal­or­ies be­cause I know I went over, not totally sure how.

'' 100 3
'' 96 4
'' 90 2
'' 532
1/10
'' 113 2
'' 29 2
'' 149 1
Lunch
Jul 13 '13 @ 12:54 PM

I keep tast­ing the kids’ stuff as I am cooking, and it adds up.

'' 100 3
'' 100 1
'' 560 1
Dinner
Jul 10 '13 @ 7:20 PM
'' 100 1
'' 10 6
'' 110
1/5
'' 100 1
'' 54 1
'' 184 3
'' 149
1/2
Dinner
Jul 05 '13 @ 8:21 PM

Fam­ily here, it was sub­op­tim­al for eat­ing sensibly.

'' 100 6
'' 96 8
'' 130 2
'' 470 2
'' 33 6
'' 426 1
Dinner
Jun 30 '13 @ 12:00 PM
'' 100 2
'' 105 4
'' 50 2
Dinner
Jun 29 '13 @ 8:53 PM
'' 100 1
'' 33 8
'' 64 2
'' 88 1
Lunch
Jun 18 '13 @ 12:09 PM

Leftovers. Which made me hungry so I went out and got a bunch of pret­zels and shit. And sugary.

'' 100 2
'' 250 1
'' 75 1
'' 230 1
'' 105 2
'' 108 5
Lunch
Jun 14 '13 @ 12:52 PM
'' 100 1
'' 59 3
'' 21 8
'' 216 1
'' 160 1
'' 205
2/3
Dinner
Jun 09 '13 @ 11:09 PM
'' 100
9/2
'' 110
1/2
'' 105 3
'' 24 4
'' 149
2/3
Dinner
May 26 '13 @ 7:37 PM
'' 100 4
'' 279 1
'' 110 1
'' 50 3
Dinner
May 25 '13 @ 8:51 PM
'' 100 2
'' 320 1
'' 90 1
'' 152 1
'' 64 2
Lunch
Apr 25 '13 @ 2:04 PM
'' 100 2
'' 59 1
'' 200 1
'' 33 8
'' 210
2/3
Dinner
Apr 24 '13 @ 11:06 PM
'' 100 3
'' 160 1
'' 150 2
'' 900
1/2
Dinner
Apr 19 '13 @ 8:31 PM
'' 100
6/5
'' 9 4
'' 96
3/2
'' 130
3/2
'' 198 1
'' 100 1
Dinner
Apr 07 '13 @ 9:40 PM

I’m put­tung down 800 calas for the bento box I had tonight.

'' 100 8
'' 96
3/2
'' 320
1/2
Lunch
Apr 03 '13 @ 12:35 PM

400 est cal­or­ies in a soy pro­tein with a light sweet and sour sauce at Zen Palate.

'' 100 4
'' 10 6
'' 45 1
'' 205 1
'' 90 1
Dinner
Apr 02 '13 @ 11:03 PM

In­di­an place for din­ner on the way home. Was very stressed and just wanted to eat; real­ized that it’s been a day of deadlines, advising, and writing—a ton of emo­tions and a sense of real suc­cess that made me feel vul­ner­able and awkward. New people, new ideas. Work­ing it all out.

'' 100 4
'' 300 1
'' 12 6
'' 150 2
Dinner
Mar 25 '13 @ 8:00 PM
  • Kale Salad
  • Two shrimp
  • Crostini
  • Smallish piece of skate and very small potato
'' 100 6
'' 96
5/2
'' 180 1
Dinner
Mar 06 '13 @ 8:50 AM

Will make a sane and healthy de­cision for dinner.

'' 100 4
'' 59 6
'' 12 4
Lunch
Mar 01 '13 @ 4:43 PM

Ate a sens­ible sushi lunch and then walked back to the (newish) off­fice with my friend Jack. Good to stretch my legs.

'' 100
16/5
'' 70 6
'' 426
2/3
Lunch
Feb 19 '13 @ 12:56 PM

Salad. Weight down. Keep­ing it going. Re­view at work today. Secretly ex­pect­ing to be fired. It would be a kind of relief.

'' 100 2
'' 59 2
'' 140
6/7
'' 108 1
'' 50 3
Snack
Feb 18 '13 @ 5:31 PM
'' 100
8/5
Lunch
Feb 18 '13 @ 3:34 PM

Went out to lunch. Did okay on sweets and such. Had no entree, just a bunch of appetizers, split.

'' 100 8
'' 108 2
Non-event
Feb 17 '13 @ 9:35 PM

Just put­ting everything to­geth­er into one big meal.

'' 100 2
'' 110
7/2
'' 50 2
'' 50 2
'' 90 2
'' 94 1
'' 94 1
'' 12 4
'' 152 1
'' 237
2/3
'' 108 1
'' 750
2/3
Dinner
Feb 12 '13 @ 11:39 AM
'' 100 3
'' 90 3
'' 79 2
'' 120 2
'' 350
2/3
'' 160 3
Lunch
Feb 12 '13 @ 10:30 AM

Nice plate of food at City Bakery.

'' 100 5
Lunch
Feb 11 '13 @ 1:47 PM
'' 100 3
'' 235 2
'' 279 1
'' 50 4
Dinner
Feb 04 '13 @ 10:28 PM

Breadsticks, chips, wine at a re­cep­tion at MoMA fol­lowed by a din­ner at Le Park­er Meridien, burgers, fries, it sort of settled into dec­ad­ence as my­self and the mom of a 1-year-old both off the leash just kept oing ntil the amaz­ing hour of 11:30PM. Given that we’d been out since six.

'' 100 6
'' 96 8
'' 100 2
'' 90 4
'' 279 1
'' 110 1
'' 24 8
Non-event
Feb 03 '13 @ 8:56 AM
'' 100 3
Dinner
Feb 02 '13 @ 8:00 PM
'' 100 3
'' 279 1
'' 110 2
'' 100
3/2
Lunch
Jan 28 '13 @ 12:36 PM

Ja­pan­ese meal. Pretty light. Fol­lowed it with 340 cals of snacks.

'' 100 5
'' 100
17/5
Lunch
Jan 28 '13 @ 12:36 PM

Ja­pan­ese meal. Pretty light. Fol­lowed it with 340 cals of snacks.

'' 100 5
'' 100
17/5
Lunch
Jan 02 '13 @ 11:49 AM
'' 100 2
'' 90 1
'' 59 3
'' 205
1/2
'' 88 1
Dinner
Jan 01 '13 @ 8:25 PM
'' 100
9/2
'' 135 4
'' 130 3
'' 105 4
'' 50 1
Dinner
Dec 31 '12 @ 12:27 PM

New Years

'' 100 8
'' 96 5
'' 235 2
'' 105 2
Snack
Dec 30 '12 @ 5:43 PM

I was pretty burned after that bike ride and wanted a ba­nana (potassium, I guess). And also dehydrated. Could have planned things better.

'' 100 2
'' 90 1
'' 80
3/2
Dinner
Dec 29 '12 @ 6:49 PM
'' 100 2
'' 80 4
'' 90 1
'' 68 3
'' 205
1/2
Dinner
Dec 26 '12 @ 10:23 PM
'' 100 3
'' 102 2
'' 105 4
'' 28 3
Dinner
Dec 21 '12 @ 8:27 PM
'' 100 1
'' 59 3
'' 20 6
'' 205 1
Dinner
Dec 17 '12 @ 10:30 AM

Christ­mas cookies. For Christ’s sake.

'' 100 2
'' 59 5
'' 66 7
'' 90
1/2
'' 20 6
Dinner
Dec 15 '12 @ 5:18 PM

At a party upstairs. Had a bunch of crack­ers and hummus, tend­ing the kids, jam­ming my maw.

'' 100 4
'' 100 4
'' 110 3
'' 24 16
Dinner
Dec 15 '12 @ 5:18 PM

At a party upstairs. Had a bunch of crack­ers and hummus, tend­ing the kids, jam­ming my maw.

'' 100 4
'' 100 4
'' 110 3
'' 24 16
Lunch
Dec 11 '12 @ 11:07 PM
'' 100 5
'' 260
2/3
'' 550 1
Lunch
Dec 06 '12 @ 12:45 PM

Lunch at a Thai place.

'' 100 3
'' 66
80/33
'' 205 1
Lunch
Nov 13 '12 @ 12:06 PM
'' 100 3
'' 340
10/17
'' 300 1
Lunch
Nov 05 '12 @ 12:00 PM

Birth­day at work today. Cake. Jesus. Chips.

'' 100 4
'' 235 1
'' 23 12
Lunch
Oct 25 '12 @ 12:36 PM

At Chelsea Market; had a Tuck Shop meat pie, which I’m guess­ing at 380 calories. And an Eld­er­berry soda, est. at about 130 cals.

Almost for­got about a big piece of Ru­gelach at City Bakery. In­ter­est­ing that I’d for­get that, it being the most sweet and calm­ing thing I ate all day.

'' 100
19/5
'' 98 3
'' 90
7/5
Snack
Oct 24 '12 @ 3:16 PM
'' 100 4
Lunch
Oct 23 '12 @ 12:16 PM
'' 100 1
'' 160
7/8
'' 900
2/7
'' 90 1
Snack
Oct 15 '12 @ 8:59 AM

Am­bi­ent calories.

'' 100 3
Dinner
Oct 12 '12 @ 8:00 PM
'' 100 2
'' 68 6
'' 88 1
Lunch
Oct 04 '12 @ 1:57 PM

80 cal­or­ies es­tim­ated on a cran­berry spritzer.

'' 100
4/5
'' 205
1/3
'' 168 1
'' 140 1
'' 90 1
Non-event
Oct 03 '12 @ 8:17 AM

All at once. 400 cal­or­ie mix of junk at a bar. Boo.

Pirate’s booty and Snackwells.

'' 100 1
'' 100
9/2
'' 100 5
'' 25 4
'' 110
8/3
'' 59 6
'' 180 3
'' 120 1
'' 70 4
Non-event
Oct 03 '12 @ 8:17 AM

All at once. 400 cal­or­ie mix of junk at a bar. Boo.

Pirate’s booty and Snackwells.

'' 100 1
'' 100
9/2
'' 100 5
'' 25 4
'' 110
8/3
'' 59 6
'' 180 3
'' 120 1
'' 70 4
Non-event
Oct 03 '12 @ 8:17 AM

All at once. 400 cal­or­ie mix of junk at a bar. Boo.

Pirate’s booty and Snackwells.

'' 100 1
'' 100
9/2
'' 100 5
'' 25 4
'' 110
8/3
'' 59 6
'' 180 3
'' 120 1
'' 70 4
Lunch
Oct 02 '12 @ 12:54 PM
'' 100
3/2
'' 15 7
'' 100 1
'' 400 1
Dinner
Oct 01 '12 @ 9:33 PM

Tired, so we ordered Thai and gave up. The extra cal­or­ies are for sauce and fried tofu.

'' 100 3
'' 90 1
'' 68 4
'' 88 2
Lunch
Sep 29 '12 @ 12:12 PM

The “units of flavor” are for a Limeade, which I’d put at 130 cal­or­ies (not pain­fully sweet) and the vari­ous top­pings on our “Vietnamese” hot­dog at Maker Faire.

'' 100
33/10
'' 120 1
'' 94 2
'' 426
3/2
Dinner
Sep 28 '12 @ 10:11 PM

Thai for dinner.

'' 100 2
'' 102 1
'' 68 6
'' 88
4/3
Dinner
Sep 27 '12 @ 7:35 PM
'' 100 2
'' 59 5
'' 12 5
'' 205
3/2
Lunch
Sep 27 '12 @ 3:11 PM

Dear Lord people in Dit­mas are crabby.

'' 100
5/2
'' 59 6
'' 160 1
Non-event
Jan 29 '12 @ 9:27 PM

The whole day. I am writ­ing for a magazine about fat­ness and it is filling me with dread. So let me sum up the cal­or­ies for a full day and see how I did, as one metameal.

'' 100 2
'' 23 4
'' 25 1
'' 110
16/3
'' 64 1
'' 0 50
'' 651
1/2
'' 120 2
'' 160 1
'' 68 2
'' 130 2
'' 100
3/2
'' 30
4/3
Dinner
Jul 10 '11 @ 8:19 PM
'' 100
7/2
'' 75 2
'' 41 3
'' 160 2
'' 130 2
Dinner
Jul 09 '11 @ 9:01 PM
'' 100
5/2
'' 14 1
'' 35 4
'' 41 2
'' 41 2
'' 160 1
'' 50 2
'' 149
1/4
Dinner
Jul 08 '11 @ 8:54 PM
'' 100
5/2
'' 100 2
'' 96 8
'' 350 2
'' 108 2
Dinner
Jul 08 '11 @ 8:54 PM
'' 100
5/2
'' 100 2
'' 96 8
'' 350 2
'' 108 2
Dinner
Jul 07 '11 @ 7:33 PM

From the nice Banglade­shi place on the corner.

'' 100 7
'' 13 12
'' 150 1
Lunch
Jul 07 '11 @ 2:18 PM
'' 100 1
'' 330 1
'' 66
5/6
'' 580 1
'' 0 20
Dinner
Jul 04 '11 @ 7:11 PM

The fire­works were pretty and you could see all of Brooklyn.

'' 100 1
'' 96 8
'' 60 1
'' 101 2
'' 73 2
'' 130 2
'' 279 1
'' 167 1
'' 8
1/2
'' 41 3
'' 5 2
Lunch
Jul 03 '11 @ 12:33 PM
'' 100
3/2
'' 100 2
'' 34 1
'' 12 2
'' 12 1
'' 29 6
Dinner
Feb 07 '11 @ 1:26 PM
'' 100 4
'' 220 2
'' 237
3/2
Lunch
Nov 11 '10 @ 11:19 AM

Ate at Chin­atown with an ex-boss. Too much mess.

'' 100 4
'' 59 5
'' 30 4
Dinner
Oct 23 '10 @ 8:32 PM

Mexican!

'' 100 3
'' 600 1
'' 100 2
'' 138 2
Dinner
Aug 30 '10 @ 9:03 PM
'' 100 3
'' 340 1
'' 470 2
Dinner
Aug 11 '10 @ 8:30 PM

Nice Tibetan birth­day dinner. The in­spir­a­tion­al words of the Dalai Lama.

'' 100 6
'' 200 1
'' 96 2
'' 64 4
'' 28 3
'' 83 4
Dinner
Aug 01 '10 @ 9:39 PM
'' 100 4
'' 39 1
'' 75 2
Dinner
Jul 14 '10 @ 10:26 PM

Snack. Too much snacks. Big sushi dinner.

'' 100 5
'' 1,000 1
Dinner
Jul 12 '10 @ 9:28 PM

Nice big Tibetan meal. Too much bread but we split a plate of dumplings.

'' 100
19/2
Dinner
Apr 22 '10 @ 11:02 PM

I’d for­got­ten how nice it was when the com­pany buys din­ner for five at Mo­mo­fuku Ssäm.

The rice-cakes and saus­age was so good it made me kind of sad.

'' 100 8
'' 96 2
Lunch
Feb 08 '10 @ 5:07 PM

G— at work gives me a piece of tinfoil, wrapped like some kind of drug.

“This is very small,” she said. “It is not in­ten­ded to sab­ot­age you.”

It is a layer of pastry en­crus­ted with car­a­mel­ized sugar and em­bed­ded with co­pi­ous nuts. Creamy sug­ary starch.

Furtively I opened it on the el­ev­at­or and put a spoon-sized bite on my tongue. Sugar-rush.

Now it is good but is it great? I am fa­mil­i­ar with a num­ber of sugar-piled pastry treats. It has ele­ments of the pecan bar, but the crys­tal­lized mapleism of the thing sub­verts that.

In any case I’ve lost my abil­ity to form good sen­tences over the last week. Now I want to go home and eat sausages.

'' 100
23/10
'' 110 1
'' 36 1
'' 100 1
'' 550 1
Dinner
Jan 23 '10 @ 6:44 PM

Rijsttafel in the slope. Never did that before. Too com­plic­ated to parse out here, but not ob­scene or heav­ily fried. Light chick­en soup. Two tiny skewers, beef/chicken. Curries. Ba­nana pudding.

'' 100 13
'' 13 24
Dinner
Jan 11 '10 @ 4:50 PM

At a big wed­ding in the Crane­way Pa­vil­ion in Richmond, CA. All sorts of misc. wed­ding treats adjoined.

'' 100 8
'' 200 2
'' 250 3
'' 167 2
'' 50 3
'' 24 24
Breakfast
Jan 11 '10 @ 11:42 AM

Egg and cheese on rye bread in Berkeley, CA.

'' 100 5
'' 0 12
Dinner
Jan 07 '10 @ 12:22 PM

Chipotle.

'' 100 8
Dinner
Jan 03 '10 @ 8:03 PM

It’s now 14 days later and I’m going back, filling in meals in as rough a way as possible—just try­ing to get the ball­park num­bers in—but if I let my­self I can re­mem­ber them very accurately. Clam chowder—no, tur­key noodle soup, and they brought a small bas­ket of bread with crack­ers and I ate all of it. Rowdy teens sat in one corner; an old lady in another. At the end I had cheesecake.

I won­der how far I could go back. “What did you eat for din­ner on July 10?” Would it be pos­sible for me to re­build that meal without re­fer­ring to this site?

Turns out I can’t. I just checked. We went over to A&A’s for dinner—seafood and pasta. Al­though I re­mem­ber the meal well. As I get older my memory is going but by writ­ing things down and read­ing them over I can re­fresh it. In­ter­est­ing that meals are now ba­sic­ally like notecards, something to re­turn to for observation. And that food is the or­gan­iz­ing prin­ciple of my life. Which is better, I suppose, than glut­tony being the or­gan­iz­ing principle.

'' 100 3
'' 91 6
'' 220 2
'' 12 4
'' 237 1
'' 130
3/2
Dinner
Dec 26 '09 @ 8:02 PM

When I slip I slip fast.

'' 100 1
'' 200 1
'' 110
8/3
'' 200 1
'' 90 1
'' 33 16
Lunch
Dec 26 '09 @ 12:01 PM

Jet­blue chips and a pre-packed pork sandwich.

'' 100
7/2
'' 242
1/2
'' 140 1
Dinner
Dec 25 '09 @ 8:39 PM
'' 100 2
'' 96
3/2
'' 90 2
'' 130 2
'' 30 6
'' 50 1
'' 10 1
Lunch
Dec 25 '09 @ 12:31 PM

Far north of Chicago. An ac­tu­al tree. Lots of kids in little shoes. Red sweaters. Man­nheim Steamroller. Republicans. This should feel like home turf in a way—I grew up in the Pres­by­teri­an church, main­stream protestantism, youth group, the whole deal. We were poor for a lot of it, but that shouldn’t matter, should it? Not to Jesus. But I’ve been away for too long. I feel ex­tremely weird; not weirdly, but weird, alien. Until it’s time to eat sausage. Then I feel deeply nor­mal and comforted.

I have a Coke for the hangover.

'' 100 3
'' 46 4
'' 35 12
'' 0 8
'' 128 4
'' 9 3
'' 62 1
'' 105 6
'' 155 1
Snack
Dec 23 '09 @ 3:10 PM
'' 100 4
'' 130 1
Lunch
Dec 23 '09 @ 2:01 PM
'' 100 2
'' 180 2
'' 145 1
'' 280
1/3
'' 286 1
'' 111 2
Snack
Dec 22 '09 @ 4:26 PM
'' 100 4
Lunch
Dec 19 '09 @ 3:00 PM
'' 100 1
'' 23 2
'' 70 1
'' 59 6
'' 205 1
'' 60 1
'' 100 1
Dinner
Dec 16 '09 @ 9:58 PM

At the of­fice Christ­mas party I avoided the drinks and had two dumplings, some mini-crabcakes, &c. I’d put it at 650 cal.

Not a good year. In fact, a ter­rible year.

Back at the office; it’s ten now.

When I am done with this project, the cur­rent project, no one will say thank you. It’s that kind of project.

'' 100
13/2
Lunch
Dec 12 '09 @ 3:13 PM

I ate pep­per steak while I waited for a new wheel to be placed on my bi­cycle to re­place the one I spent three hours tru­ing Thursday night. I de­cided to cal­cu­late how much I pay per mile to ride.

I’d say I’ve put $1,000 into the bike (it cost $450 new, plus two new wheels, tubes, re­placed the drive train and gearing, new brake pads, &c. ) The only ori­gin­al parts re­main­ing are the handle­bars and front fork.

I prob­ably rode 1/4 to 1/3 of the days in the last four years, plus week­end rides and so forth. I star­ted rid­ing around Septem­ber 2006. I know this be­cause on the first day I rode to work I lost a pedal, went to the bikeshop, and met a journ­al­ist who wanted to use me as the thru­line of his story, even though I kept try­ing to in­tro­duce him to real cyclists. It’s in­ter­est­ing to read that and real­ize that I was just start­ing to get ser­i­ous about weight loss, in 2006. It took more than two years after that to really jump down the throat of the problem. Just to edge up to it.

365 days × 3 = 1,095 days × 1/4 = ~250 days riding.

My typ­ic­al ride to work and back is right around 8 miles.

~250 days × ~8 miles a ride = 2,000 miles; in the past six months I’ve put about 400-600 miles on top of that.

So ~$1,000/2,400 miles = $0.417/mile. Let’s go with $0.50/mile.

The sub­way (without discounts), works out to $0.56/mile get­ting me to and from work, but of course if I bought an Un­lim­ited card and took as many rides on the train as I do with the bike the rate would go drastic­ally down. In a very rough back-of-the-envelope way it’s just about as cost-effective to take the bike as it is to take the train. Of course it’s the com­bin­a­tion that’s the best. Noth­ing is bet­ter than know­ing that when my wheel ex­plodes out by the Rock­aways I can be home on the train in an hour. I can’t ima­gine rid­ing any other way. You’d need to carry a spare bike.

I could walk to work. It would take about 90 minutes each way. It would re­quire about $0.50 in calories, perhaps. I bet I could get it down to $0.10/mile on a gruel, as long as you don’t in­clude shoe costs and cloth­ing wear. Hard to get much cheap­er than that.


In the Chinese res­taur­ant there are loud teen girls. “Let’s play who would you date,” says one. The only name I over­hear is that of Zac Ephron. I’ve never seen him but I’ve heard that name. His mer­its are discussed. Other men are discussed. I read Archaeology magazine.

Two men sit down to my right with a boy. The boy wears headphones.

One of the men is big, maybe 380 or 420. The other is normal-sized. The wait­ress comes over; the large man knows her and says hello. He or­ders a pupu plat­ter and a wonton soup with extra scallions—repeating that twice—and a chick­en with broccoli.

“And, um, I’d like a menu,” says his friend.

She brings a menu.

“Excuse me, sir,” says the large man to me. He has a gentle voice. “What do you have there?”

“It’s, uh Fi­nally I remember: “Pepper steak.”

“It looks delicious,” he says.

“I haven’t tasted it yet,” I say. “It seems promising.”

The wait­ress returns. He changes his order from chick­en and broc­coli to pep­per steak. The men’s con­ver­sa­tion is mostly about weight loss and Atkins. The boy keeps listen­ing to his headphones. A woman they know is get­ting bigger.

“You know. They see my progress,” says the big man, “they want to know about it.” So per­haps he is on his way down. He may be doing everything right. I don’t know enough to judge him. He prob­ably shouldn’t be in this restaurant, or­der­ing without a menu, but I definitely shouldn’t be there, and here I am, and here is the restaurant.

The wait­ress passes by and the man or­ders a second soup. The counter in my head starts to spin. It’s none of my busi­ness but I can’t help it. I have de­veloped a fine memory for food eaten. I’ve be­come a gluttonist, an ob­serv­er of gluttony; even more so a forensic gluttonist. Even though I didn’t care to log it last night I can tell you what I ate last night at the of­fice Christ­mas party: three glasses of bour­bon with soda, two beers (both Brook­lyn Lager), one pig in a blanket, shrimp and ava­cado on endive, gouda, half-ounce chunks of two other kinds of cheese not known to me, three sand­wich cookies, three cook­ies with chocol­ate toppings, two mar­zipan cookies, one piece of baklava, twelve nuts, one ve­g­gie straw, one bite of pita with hummus, roast beef on bread, two 3/4-oz chunks of chick­en with a pea­nut sauce, four cigarettes, and no olives. The next party I go to I will sit away from the table. The com­bin­a­tion of drink­ing and a table of salty food is disaster. The com­pul­sion I be­lieve my­self to have wrestled to sub­mis­sion is in­stead in full bloom.

On walk­ing out I al­most for­got to tip.

'' 100 3
'' 150 2
'' 46
1/2
'' 33 8
'' 53 4
'' 210 1
Dinner
Dec 05 '09 @ 11:11 PM
'' 100 1
'' 12 2
'' 600 1
'' 130 2
'' 210
2/3
'' 205 1
'' 10 3
Lunch
Dec 03 '09 @ 2:55 PM

Cafe Zaiya. Estimating—it was a sort of meat-ey thing atop some ra­men­ish noodles, with a sort of pickle-y thing and a potato thing covered with a kind of brightly-colored dyed crunchy thing (but not fried). And a white-bread roll stuffed with sug­ary red bean paste.

The Biggest Win­ner Arab proves that mildly obese people from the Middle East com­ing to­geth­er in an ele­ment­ary school with cheesy in­ter­sti­tials does not make for won­der­ful TV.

'' 100 3
'' 260 1
'' 95 3
Dinner
Nov 25 '09 @ 7:23 PM
'' 100 3
'' 200 2
'' 10 4
'' 200 1
'' 33 8
Dinner
Nov 24 '09 @ 7:51 PM
'' 100 3
'' 1,159
1/4
'' 205
2/3
Snack
Nov 20 '09 @ 11:49 PM
'' 100 1
'' 110
5/2
Dinner
Nov 17 '09 @ 11:51 PM

Meet and cheese plate, with little toast squares.

'' 100
11/2
'' 110 1
'' 103 3
Dinner
Nov 14 '09 @ 8:26 PM
'' 100 3
'' 102 4
'' 132 1
'' 400 1
'' 70 5
'' 103
3/2
Lunch
Nov 13 '09 @ 12:18 PM

Adding 100 cals be­cause I had my sand­wich on a bagel in­stead of whole wheat. Worth it.

Later, I go to the bikeshop be­cause my bike is ready. I call first to check. The reg­u­lar as­sembly of an­noy­ing slends in de­sign­er bikewear stand handsomely. Some 20-something guy with a name like Chadler—or per­haps simply and more ef­fi­ciently his name is Bro—disappears to fetch the bike and rolls it out. Chadler looks like a Col­or­ado mountaintop; but the bike is a disaster. The saddle still hangs a foot off the side, at­tached only by the anti-theft chain; there is no seatpost; the outer front gear re­mains as it was when I brought it in, at­tached by twist-ties.

Chadler says: “There ap­pears to be some money due to us for the repair.”

I say: “There isn’t any seat on it.”

Even by bikeshop levels they have failed. They do ap­pear to have re­placed the brake-pads, bring­ing us to 33 per­cent compliance. A man­ager appears.

“Can you come back at 7?” he fi­nally asks.

I can, I guess. I can’t ride it home today in any case. No helmet.

'' 100 1
'' 90 1
'' 140 1
'' 550 1
Lunch
Nov 11 '09 @ 4:59 PM
'' 100 3
'' 110 1
'' 23 3
'' 278
1/4
'' 59 4
'' 29 3
Dinner
Nov 04 '09 @ 8:04 PM

and then, disaster, in the form of whiskey.

'' 100 2
'' 96 2
'' 59 8
'' 20 6
'' 103 6
Lunch
Oct 30 '09 @ 1:22 PM

A former cowork­er in from out of town, so we went for Malaysian. Much guess­work in the calories.

'' 100 7
'' 200 1
'' 59 6
'' 105 2
'' 28 2
'' 45 2
Lunch
Oct 29 '09 @ 2:09 PM

We in­tro­duce the 100-calorie unit of fla­vor here, which, like the 1,000 cal­or­ie unit of despair, is a good catch-all for mis­cel­lany (a dash of oregano, a wee sprink­ling of parmesan, a quarter-ounce of In­di­an pickles in gar­lic oil). In this case we apply it to the hot green pep­pers from the Pun­j­abi Deli.

In the deli a man came in and joked in his own language; soon the man be­hind the counter pro­duced a long piece of metal use­ful for jim­my­ing a lock; and when we came out three men were around a cab, try­ing to pry it open. Lunch, DVDs, so­cial club, and lock­smith­ing all in one spot.

'' 100
3/20
'' 37 10
'' 130 1
'' 150 2
'' 0 40
'' 149
3/16