One Huge Lesson in Humility.

Bread, bun—100 kcal.

Kilocal. Quant.
Dinner
Nov 18 '13 @ 8:06 PM

So I had din­ner and it was just all raw seafood. Stayed away from appetizers. Had a little candy-ey thing when I got home, should have avoided it but bet­ter than craving. Moved around a lot. Cog­nit­ive self did okay today. A little ex­er­cise would have been good but I walked around a lot. I feel in­tense when I eat at all sensibly—very wired. Let’s stay calm and see how it goes tomorrow.

'' 96
3/2
'' 100 1
'' 180 1
'' 220
3/2
'' 90 6
'' 426
1/2
Dinner
Sep 21 '13 @ 8:19 PM
'' 96 4
'' 100 1
'' 59 6
'' 88 1
'' 20 2
Dinner
Aug 31 '13 @ 6:20 PM

Mo made tur­key bur­ger with dressing.

'' 100 1
'' 100 1
'' 150 1
'' 50 2
Dinner
Aug 18 '13 @ 8:00 PM

We had people over last night for a barbecue. I did poorly but then again I didn’t do my worst. It was nice to have the deck and house cleaned up and to entertain.

'' 96 6
'' 100 2
'' 150 2
'' 100 1
'' 60 1
'' 160 1
'' 108 5
Dinner
Jul 22 '13 @ 6:37 PM
'' 64 4
'' 100 2
'' 115 1
'' 54 2
'' 94 1
'' 105 4
'' 32 1
'' 149 1
Non-event
Apr 04 '13 @ 2:53 PM

Didn’t track today. Prom­ised my­self I would. Going to try to re­con­struct from memory.

Ah, it’s com­ing back, actually. Break­fast was my reg­u­lar breakfast. Lunch was cour­tesy of Bloomberg, and the Bloomberg snack frenzy.

'' 100 1
'' 150
7/5
'' 320 1
'' 60 1
'' 210 1
'' 130 3
'' 90 3
'' 33 10
Lunch
Oct 22 '12 @ 1:18 PM
'' 100 1
'' 320 1
'' 150 1
'' 180 2
Lunch
Oct 13 '11 @ 12:27 PM

[Wife]’s mom is here, mak­ing grilled cheese sandwiches.

'' 100
8/5
'' 101
8/5
'' 10 1
Lunch
Apr 21 '11 @ 5:50 PM
'' 110 1
'' 100
3/2
'' 220 1
'' 300 1
'' 220 1
'' 200
3/2
Dinner
Feb 21 '11 @ 6:29 PM
'' 100 1
'' 34 2
'' 33 4
Dinner
Feb 21 '11 @ 6:29 PM
'' 100 1
'' 34 2
'' 33 4
Lunch
Oct 05 '10 @ 1:09 PM
'' 100 2
'' 35 2
'' 50 1
'' 6 5
'' 33 2
Lunch
Aug 05 '10 @ 1:21 PM
'' 95 4
'' 100 2
'' 532
1/4
'' 90 5
'' 279 1
Dinner
Dec 18 '09 @ 5:49 PM
'' 100 1
'' 150 1
'' 360 1
'' 330 1
'' 34
1/2
'' 10 1
'' 46
1/5
'' 3 2
Lunch
Nov 10 '09 @ 2:19 PM

“Man, you weigh an error amount.” This 15-year-old ba­sic­ally nails the en­tirety of being a fat­tie adolescent. Hear­ing the ab­ject cruelty of teens—crap. He was 400+; now skinny. Lap band surgery.

'' 110 1
'' 100 1
'' 150 1
'' 160 1
'' 60
1/2
Breakfast
Oct 25 '09 @ 8:16 AM

'' 100
7/5
'' 90 1
'' 120 1
'' 147 1
Lunch
Oct 24 '09 @ 12:42 PM
'' 1,000
1/3
'' 46 2
'' 100 2
'' 20 8
Lunch
Aug 01 '09 @ 1:48 PM
'' 100 2
'' 60 1
'' 10 2
'' 12 2
'' 130 2
'' 140 1
Dinner
Jul 15 '09 @ 10:20 PM

My do­mest­ic state makes this ef­fort possible—[Wife] unemployed, and no jobs in NYC; she joins Weight Watcher’s, counts her points, works on her own life, and feeds me as well. All fine, mak­ing the best of a botch. But could this cal­or­ie in­vent­ory hap­pen if she was working? Maybe, but the hard part was start­ing and we wouldn’t have taken on the effort. The last time I really gained weight was build­ing an archive at work—months and months of sit­ting and stuff­ing through the nights. Ra­tion­al amounts of work and man­aged stress, a sup­port­ive home life, an ideal and lov­ing re­la­tion­ship with mu­tu­al support, meals cooked with fruits and vegetables, the olive-oil spritzer and the scale unto which both of us meas­ure our portions. Ad­mit­tedly I’m un­com­fort­able to have her in such a wifely role, with my­self as snack­win­ner and her­self as do­mest­ic caretaker. She is much hap­pi­er and more ful­filled on the phone yelling at truck­ers than filling out un­em­ploy­ment forms and being told she is ap­plic­ant num­ber 300 for a given position. But this is also an­oth­er bless­ing in a life that, when you put aside the anxi­ety and drive to self-destruction, and sub­tract childhood, is prac­tic­ally choked with blessings, a life that has been kicked in the face and forced to its knees by blessings, at whence a small mob of gifts, blessings, and ben­isons come shriek­ing out of nowhere and just start whal­ing on it, and the life cowers and hides its hands but fi­nally it stops whimpering; they leave it un­con­scious and broken in a puddle of its own benedictions. That sort of life.

'' 322
1/8
'' 100 1
'' 8 1
'' 6 1
'' 3 1
'' 39
1/2
'' 2 6
'' 90 1
'' 90 2
'' 4 4
'' 140 1
'' 27
1/2